Vol. XVII No. 2
FEBRUARY 2005
VOCATION
STORIES
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CALENDAR FOR THE RECOLLECTIONS AND SEARCH –IN WORKSHOP, 2004-2005
In Manila
Pre-Postulancy
21-28 April Making decision
IN THE PROVINCES
January 28-30 Cagayan de Oro
February 26-27 Cebu
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Fr. Vincent and Fr. Marnie
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Comboni Missionaries 282Roosevelt Ave
1105 Quezon City M.M
Philippines
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to WORLD MISSION
TRUE LOVE
by Fr. Marnecio Cuarteros, MCCJ
FINDING THE WAY FORWARD IN LIFE
All throughout his life, Bench Paulo always wondered about love.
Bench Paulo - or simply BP as he was called by many – was known as a very talented and active guy in his hometown. His real name Benjamin Paul derived from the combination of his two grandfathers’ names.
At times he would see his parents in moments of tenderness that would seem to envelop them all through their lives. BP was raised from a very simple and happy family. At a young age, he witnessed and had experienced the great love and affection displayed by his family.
For them, birthday celebration was common. Anytime there was one celebrating, the mother usually cooked pansit (noodles) for long life and asado meat. He was fascinated by those unexplained emotions through giving gifts, kissing the hands of elders and embracing anyone every time.
The wonder of beauty
He studied in a Catholic school where he began to hone his skills and potentials. As he was growing up, he began to wonder about the beauty of seeing older men and women offering gestures of sweetness to one another, seeing gestures that showed more than kindness; care that elicited much more than warmth.
He was reminded of the similar actions done by his parents; and when he had the impulse to ask, he was told that it is the feeling of love…
Exciting discovery
BP was very excited by his discovery - love; he knew that this is something special, something powerful, something bizarre, but he was chided by his parents: “You are too young to understand, the time will come when you’ll experience true love.”
BP eventually grew up and had the normal experience of being attracted to girls of his age. Still, he knew that all the feelings he had were fleeting, passing emotions, he was still wondering and searching for “true love”.
As he matured, BP’s concept of love widened as he learned to understand life. As a young Catholic, he was taught about the importance of love, for God, for neighbor, for an ideal, for someone. He knew then that love is not that simple, and that his heart was somehow called to love God in an extraordinary way. He felt a faint desire to express care for God but, young as he was, he just kept moving ahead, still believing that he would find “true love” in the future.
A moment like thunder
BP entered college still hoping that he would find “true love”, since at that time he had not yet experienced having a relationship with a woman and he was exploring, being positive. Then, that moment came like thunder to him…
In his second year of studies, he happened to sit right beside a quiet, petite girl, a classmate of his. When she turned to talk to him, her smile pierced his passive soul, capturing his unsuspecting consciousness: “She’s the one,” he told himself, “I have found true love.”
Then the abstract concepts of love in his mind were all shattered, the ideals were refocused on this girl whose name was Precilla. At that time BP’s heart was overflowing with joy, feelings of desire and longing overwhelmed him, waiting to express themselves. “I am now ready to love and to give myself for her,” he said.
Day of hearts
Time passed by as he lived a life of fantasies and expectations. He used to gaze at Precilla for a long time, always longing for her, dreaming to tell her what he felt. The time came when he could wait no longer; he had to make a move, he had to reveal everything and he planned to reveal it on Valentine’s Day.
February 14, the day of hearts, was a very tense day for him; he was now ready. After their classes, he waited for Precilla, outside the campus and as she went out, BP nervously approached her and told her, “I have something to tell you…”. He then reached for the red roses hidden behind his back. Precilla was astounded, speechless for a moment, then said cryptically, “No, sorry, let’s just be friends, that’s all,” then she turned her back and walked away.
Shattered heart
Poor BP, his heart was shattered, he cried without tears deep inside him. He felt as if this was the deluge, he whispered, “Why, is true love not meant for me?”
From then on, he became cold and cynical towards love, making himself believe that he was destined to live a simple, single life. He instilled the ideal that living alone is much greater than having a relationship, but he didn’t know that the reckoning would come…
In the year of their graduation, a traditional party was held to honor them. There, he saw Precilla again, with all her radiant beauty, right in the middle of a great dance. All the people were enjoying themselves, laughing, dancing, and BP was staring at her; he sighed, he knew that it was not meant to be…
BP silently walked away from the party and to his amazement found their school chapel’s door half-opened. Depressed, he sat down and clasped his hands asking, “O Lord, why didn’t you give me true love?” He was staring at the image of the crucified Christ, meditating on the anguish and pain of the suffering Savior. As the sounds and screams from the party became louder, the greater the silence he felt deep inside, gazing at the Lord; he didn’t mind all the noise nor the memories of his beloved girl; at that time he knew that he was experiencing something different in that chapel.
Resounding question
After an hour he went out and saw the remnants of the wild party; tired bodies, empty cans, fading music, endless chatter. He again saw Precilla, still as gorgeous as ever. BP fixed his eyes on her then slowly looked around the place, feeling within himself that resounding question, “What is it, Lord? Speak, for your son listens.”
At that moment he felt a different kind of love; a love not focused on beauty nor attraction, but a deeper emotion, a feeling of care towards others, for people insensitive to the needs of their souls. He was again caring, not for anyone in particular but for all, not for persons but for souls.
Again his heart was overflowing, and he was eager to share himself. As the night lingered on, with all the tired people now retiring, he again glanced at his lady, then slowly closed his eyes, “Now I found my true love.”
Certain call
Certain that he felt the Lord’s call, he attended the search-in recollections of a missionary Congregation, and he eventually became a missionary priest, administering to different people from all walks of life. Years have now passed since he became a missionary, and by this time he had the great privilege of not only wondering about romantic love but also uniting couples through the sacrament of Matrimony. At this point he was very happy…
Sometimes, he would look at the picture of the woman he had loved and he would wonder why God did not allow him to be with her, then he would smile and say to himself, “I have found the greatest love of all…a missionary.”<WMCopyright©2003,2004 World Mission Magazine