Becoming Friends

by Fr. Douglas Venne, MM

INTER-RELIGIOUS DIALOGUE IN BANGLADESH

Maryknoll Missioner Fr Douglas Venne shares the meaning of dialogue as he experienced it in his first hand mission in Bangladesh.

In 1986, I worked with the hired hands in the farm fields of Rosulpur for about eight years and took residence on the family compound of Kashem Ali (who died at 105 years of age in January 2003).

Though I see my apostolate as an apostolate of prayer, my presence in the village these days is used in teaching Muslim women, mostly married, how to read and write their own language (BANGLA).  But, since I am also weak in speaking the language, I am not able to use this time to full advantage.  However, my faithfulness  in coming each day  somewhat gave them  a ‘comic relief’. 

Aside from teaching,  I also give out across-the-board medicines  for common ailments.  I also  play with the children.  (Sometimes I even serve as  referee in  their games.)  Because of  these activities, we all became friends.  When  people  become friends, many exchanges can take place.  Of course, in real dialogue, there should be no pressure by either side to make the other conform to our personal ideals.  Only the reasonableness of the thought and convincing good actions of a person or a group toward or with another should affect a change of heart in the other.  Change coming from dialogue is not predictable nor should it be manipulated.  We come together with only a desire that the other can participate in the genuine joy of our living experience and we in theirs. 

Friendly start

My intro into village farm life happened quite by accident.  Our Maryknoll Fraternity of five men had originally started helping the govenrment in its literacy program.  What better way to dialogue!  The program I was in, however,  was small and one time only three students came.  So our leader decided it was not worth it and stopped the class.  I asked Kalu Mia, a 19- yea-r old landless farm lad,  if I could come and work in the fields with him.  His employer agreed and so I started Bengali farming, knowing nothing.  This simple farm lad patiently taught me their ways.

We bacame good friends and Kalu Mia told me one day he was getting married in two weeks time.  Not only that, when  the day came, he took me right into the most sacred moments of  the arranged wedding ceremonies.  That made me realized how much he valued our  friendship that grew over  time.

First dialogue

One of my earliest experiences in a religious dialogue event happened when I was weeding some crops alone in a field of the father of the head Imam, Momin Master.  He approached me and  asked, if  I was a Jesuit.   Being a better educated person, he probably saw Jesuits in Kolkata (Calcutta) earlier in life.  “No,” I answered, “but I am something like a Jesuit.”  He quickly continued, “Are you here to convert our people?”  I guess I had not followed the advice in the Letter of  St. Peter, to always be ready with an answer for your life, but the Lord Holy Spirit provided.  “Our Prophet Isa (Jesus) asked us to go and help the poor and I have chosen to do that among the poor of Bangladesh.  If  any one comes closer to Allah because I have come, I will be happy.”  Momin Master nodded his head, “I can accept that.”

Another experience was also with this Imam.  I was eating a meal at the time of Eid celebration.   (Muslims are vrey generous and share such occasions with others who are not of their faith).  Again, I was queried by Momin Master, “Who is Jesus?”  I think I had my mouth full when he asked and it took me a moment to think about the question.   What was he driving at?  Anyway, what came out from me was, “Jesus is my Lord.”  He retorted, “But Lord means God.”   “Yes, Jesus is God,”  I confessed.  I was amazed as he clapped and laughed a bit  saying something like “Yes, yes.”  To this day, I am not sure what it all meant  but I feel he was happy that I did not try to weasel-word my way out of answering from my heart.

Work in the fields in Bangladesh is a time for conversation about what goes on in the village.  From time to time, I would join in their  conversation with my little knowledge of their language.  And many would listen since they were interested in a foreigner’s opinion.  One time, I said something.  (I can’t remember what it was)  but, all of  sudden, my companions cried out, “Islam is the greatest! Islam is the greatest!”  Since I did not know what  I said that brought that  excitement, I just kept quiet and thought, “Let Islam be the greatest.  Jesus taught us to be the least, the servant of all.”   Despite that incident, we kept our friendship.

Being close

There was Rahim, a 15-year old boy who was very kind to me.  We worked in the fields and also became friends.  Unfortunately, he got very sick and the doctors could do nothing for him.  Whenever I took him to the hospital, he would tell people that I was Brother Doug who was

 helping him.   When he died, I worked in his  name for a year  with his father, Masum Ali, to show my fondness of Rahim and to  witness  to a Christian’s attitude.